The Jewish State Fair is a Great State Fair

Numbers 28:16-25

So we've gone through the daily, weekly, and monthly sacrificial requirements- and Moses, all too predictably, next enters into requirements for an annual offering.  January 14th is Passover Day, no school, no mail, and the post office will be closed.  The 15th marks the beginning of a seven day festival.  No yeast may be eaten during this period.  Day one is a sacred assembly with no regular work being done except perhaps by the Israelite carnies.  A food offering is to be given consisting of two young bulls, a ram and seven one-year-old male lambs.   These will be burnt offerings.

With each animal offered they are to also present a grain offering which varies depending on which animal it accompanies.  In addition, a goat is to be offered as a sin offering.  These offerings are to be made in addition to the daily offerings.  

The seventh day mirrors the first - a sacred assembly with no regular work.  I see no mention of roasted lamb on a stick or booths to play Whack an Egyptian.  In fact this word "festival" seems kind of strange. While they may get a couple of days off of regular work- they seem to have responsibilities packed on.  This seems to be a festival for God- not a ride the rides see the shows kind of outing. 

However, this festival gives them the opportunity to be forgiven for sins- something that life without Jesus wouldn't have offered an a regular basis.  So perhaps it was indeed a party.  Even without those leaven filled funnel cakes.

Please Don't Let the 1st be on a Saturday
Numbers 28: 11-15


In addition to the daily and weekly offerings, they also had monthly sacrifices to make:  two young bulls, one ram, and seven one year old male lambs- and these were to be fine specimens- not the gimpy ones.  With each bull there's an accompanying grain offering of a flour/oil mixture.  There is also one with the ram with a different ratio of flour to oil.  Each lamb also has a more diluted mixture required as a grain offering.  Each sacrifice also has a requirement of a drink offering (the amount of wine varying with which animal is being sacrificed).  In addition, a male goat is to be made as a sin offering.

So, if the first falls on a sabbath, I guess they would have to sacrifice their daily, weekly, and monthly sacrifice on that day.  So much for the day of rest.

As with the other sacrifice specification sections, the specifics seem a bit worrisome to me.  As someone who doesn't deal well with detail, this kind of requirement would have been disastrous.  I would think that the priests would handle all of the particulars, but even so, God's demand of precision here from sacrifice to sacrifice is a little puzzling.

Perhaps there's a profound reason for all of the differences in amounts, but at a cursory glance it seems to be hoops to jump through.  But even if it is simply an act of power, it's certainly an appropriate one.

Moses Could Have Used an Editor
Numbers 28:9-10


A short passage with more sacrificial decrees.  Every Sabbath, in addition to the burnt and drink offerings discussed last section, they are to offer two perfect lambs a year old.  It comes with an extra drink offering and a grain offering.

I wonder why Moses feels so compelled to chronicle all of the detail here.  We're nearing the end of Moses' life, so perhaps this was to serve as a reference book for them to insure they're getting the sacrifices right.  The sacrifices are likely continuing as the book is written, I assume.  So maybe it's just to keep them straight.

Or maybe Moses has a really sick sense of humor.  It could be like Andy Kaufman selling tickets for a stand-up performance and reading from The Great Gatsby for a couple of hours.  The joke is on them.

And maybe Moses is laughing now.  There's some schmuck in Tennessee pouring over all the boring detail in Numbers.  HAHAHA- I hope he keeps going.

...and I guess I will.

Mo Had a Little Lamb
Numbers 28: 1-8




God tells Moses to reinstate the food offerings.  Moses thinks it's a good literary choice to include all the detail of the offerings again here.  They are to present two pure year old lambs for sacrifice each day (surely this must mean the community as a whole and not each individual Israelite- or else there's a whole lotta killin' goin' on) one in the morning and one at twilight.  A drink offering of about a liter of fermented drink is to accompany each lamb.

That's it.  Not much to this section- except that as they enter the promised land, perhaps God is using this sacrifice as a way to create a little normalcy in their lives.  While they wouldn't have been at Sinai to witness or share in these sacrifices, perhaps the stories of them would remain in their families.  So maybe God is saying, Your parents didn't really get it, but I'm starting over with you- I'm asking the same things, I'm requiring the same obedience, the slate is clean and we'll try this again.  Please... learn from your parents.

Or maybe God really likes lamb chops.

Post Mo
Numbers 27:12-23


God tells Moses to head up the mountain so he can get a good view of the land he won't inherit.  After he sees it, God will gather him up.  God reminds him that he can't go in because he and Aaron didn't treat Him as holy back with that whole water from the rock thing.  At first glance this seems pretty harsh.  Here, smell this dessert that everyone but you will get to eat.  But this might be a way to show him what all the walking was for.  You aren't quite getting to the finish line- but without you, these people might not be here.  Look at the reward and picture them in it.

It's interesting too that his punishment is the afterlife.  Is going to "heaven" less of a reward than Canaan?  No, no mansion of gold for me, I'd prefer war with giants.  To be fair, as little as we understand about what is to come, these people likely knew even less. Perhaps this punishment was a reward in hindsight.

Moses, though, is concerned about the future of his people.  Look- without me they're going to be wandering aimlessly, falling into pits, losing their sandals, bumping into each other- they'll need a new shepherd.  God tells him to take Joshua, pus his hands on him before Eleazar and the whole community and give him some of his authority. Joshua is to stand before Eleazar who will give God's decisions using the Urim.  The people will move on his command.

OK- makes sense except for the whole Urim thing.  A quick google search indicates that the Urim (as opposed to the Thummim) was a special rock that indicated a yes/no response.  So, if after talking to God about an issue, one rock on the priest's breastplate lit up (like a lightbulb) it indicated God's response- like a divinely inspired magic 8 ball.

So Moses followed through and Joshua was commissioned.

Two things really strike me here.

First, even Moses didn't really get what happens after you die.  At least it sure seems that way.  And if Moses, the closest thing the Israelites have to Jesus- in fact a figure who in many ways foreshadows Jesus- didn't get it, we aren't likely going to figure it out either.  And so it becomes a lesson of trust.  Follow and trust.

Second, Moses worries about what he leaves behind.  It's great to be heaven-focused (yes, even essential) but it shouldn't make us less concerned about people who are still around.  Moses wanted to make sure that their well being was taken care of before he left for the real promised land.  And while Moses seems a bit full of himself (to me) at times- this is a great example of his selflessness.  

Susan B. Zelophehad
Numbers 27:1-11


So after entering the promised land, five sisters, the daughters of Zelophehad are none too pleased.  They came from the clan of Manasseh, but their father Zelophehad died in the wilderness.  So they came before Moses, Eleazar, the leaders and the whole assembly and said- look, daddy Zel had five daughters and no son.  He died in transit- he died for his sins, but it's not like he was one of the Kora followers who blatantly revolted against God.  Why should his name die out in the clan just because he didn't have any sons?  Here's a solution- give us what belonged to our family.

The council is shocked.  What, you mean women could actually own land?  But, how will you feed yourselves without men to help you?

OK, maybe they didn't go that far- but you have to be impressed with a story about women's rights in a book so often disturbingly misogynistic.

Moses takes the case before the Lord- and seems to not so much ask for counsel as to give it.  He says- these ladies are right.  You must give them their land and inheritance.

Must? This is much more than making God aware of the situation. It is clear to me that Moses' story is a foreshadowing of Jesus'.  He's not just a spokesperson, he's an advocate.  He's the defense attorney.  He's got their back very much like Christ's intercessions for us.

And God listens.  Tell them, He says, if a man dies with no sons, give the inheritance to his daughters.  If there are also no daughters, give it to his brothers.  If there are no brothers, go to the next closest relative.  Treat this like any other commandment- it has the force of law.


OK, so it's not exactly the ERA.  Women are still not getting the same perks as men here.  But at least for these five women (Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milkah and Tirzah) despite living in a patriarchal age they score a point for women.  


And what I take from this story is the importance of looking out for those whose voices are minimized- women, or minorities, or the poor, or the displaced, or prisoners, or the stranger, or the new guy, or immigrants, or homosexuals, or the inarticulate.  Whoever society thinks unworthy of power, (perhaps the thieves and prostitutes) are worthy of God's love and may only realize it when we treat them as equals.

Counting on You

Numbers 26

Ahh, Numbers. How I love it when you count.  Yep- it's census time.  As a former census worker, I wish there were more details from the eccentric of the clans- people who think the government comes in at night and silently move their property lines in- or folks who list "chicken chaser" as their profession on the form.  Alas, the account here is much less colorful.  If only Georgia had been the promised land.

We get a new count here.  I think the point is to see where we stand after the 40 extra years of wandering and to make sure that no one sneaks into Canaan that was denied entrance.  Also, it gives a sense of how they've progressed population-wise since the last great count.  Ah, what a fascinating passage that one was.

So the last plague happened killing off a bunch of Israelites and God tells Moses and Aaron's kid Eleazar to count these people by family.  They're counting those 20 years or older- and I would assume just the male folk since the age stipulation is there to determine their battle worth.  I'm guessing there weren't many co-ed battalions back in the day.  

So Moses and Eleazar stand by the Jordan and tell them to get it done.  That concludes the plot.  The rest is results.

Reuben's kin are named by generation- they number at 43,730.

In the Reuben section we are reminded that Dathan and Abiram were part of Korah's unsuccessful rebellion against Moses and Aaron that resulted in a fire killing 250 people.  Korah's line, however, didn't die out.  Dathan and Abiram's heritage is laid out- so his family is sure to not forget their link to the scandal.

Simeon's kin were numbered at 22,200.  No commentary for them.

Gad had 40,500.

Judah had 76,500.  Two of his sons Er and Onan were singled out.  They died in Canaan so apparently have no line behind them here.

Issachar had 64,300 in their number,

Zebulun had a slightly smaller count with 60,500.

As you may recall, Joseph got a double inheritance and so two sons get their own tribse,  Manasseh had 52,700 and Ephraim had 32,500.  

Benjamin had 45,600.

Dan apparently only had one son- or at least one son with children.  All of his line went through Shuham- and they had 64,400 in his clan.

Asher had 53,400.  It is also noted that Asher had a daughter named Serah.  It's only a parenthetical reference, but still a rarity to see a woman's name on a list like this.

Naphtali had 45,400.

This grand total (at least according to Moses) comes to 601,730.  God tells Moses to distribute land based on the size of the clans- but it is to be done by lots.  

The Levites weren't included in this group- they weren't soldier-types but there were 23,200 of them.  It says they weren't counted because they didn't receive a portion of the inheritance.  Similar to the Reuben section, we are reminded that Nadab and Abihu (and their strange, unauthorized fire) belonged to the Levite family.  However we are also reminded of Moses and Aaron's place in this line. Moses also names his mother Jochebed, and his sister Miriam.

None of the escapees were still alive except for Joshua and Caleb.  

It must have been a strange mixture of emotion for the wanderers as the last few former slaves neared death.  They couldn't enter the promised land until the last few died.  Would they have wanted Uncle Elhathazar to hang on for another couple of years- or would you just die already?  There's milk and honey waiting.

One thing I take away is that families aren't left unstained by the failures of their offspring.  We are truly in it together- when we stumble, others are forced to wander and to sometimes have our failure associated with their name for long periods of time.  

Maybe the answer is a help in carrying such burdens.  When my loved ones struggle- I shouldn't dread the association- but welcome the opportunity to lighten the load, to help the fight, to let the troubled know they aren't alone.  Let me help guide, let me support, let me comfort, let me share some of the aftermath.  You aren't facing this by yourself.  We've signed up to help you.

Old School STD's
Numbers 25


So the Israelite men became intrigued with women from another nation- particularly the Moabite women.  And they acted on this interest.  It seems that Shittim (their current campgrounds) became a hotbed of hanky panky and consequently of Baal worship.  As you might expect, God was none too pleased.


So God tells Moses, go kill all the leaders in the light of day.  No sneak attack, no drive-by shooting- make sure everyone knows these deaths are My punishment.


If there was ever a time for a leader to delegate responsibility, this was it- so Moses tells Israel judges to go ahead and kill all of their people who have Marvin Gaye playing in their tents.

One particularly brash Israelite named Zimri flaunted his dalliances.  He brought a girl named Kozbi into the tent of "meeting" (it was probably that brazen Lisa Bonet).  This Kozbi kid was also the daughter of a Midianite tribal chief.  Aaron's grandson Phinehas would have none of it.  He grabbed his spear, followed them into the tent, and drove the spear through both of them which is pretty impressive both strength-wise and geometrically. This apparently satisfied God and the plague stopped.

But not before 24,000 people died.

God says two things.  First- he praises the zeal of Phinehas.  He gives him credit for turning away His anger.  And as a result God sets up a covenant with him and his offspring.  They will have a lasting priesthood.  I'm not really sure how this is different than what is already established since he's Aaron's grandson.  Wouldn't he already be part of this priesthood?  I would think that this would be part of the compulsion to cleanse the tent of meeting.

Second- He refers to the Kozbi incident as deception on the part of the Midianites.  They are to treat the Midianites as enemies.

So, were the Moabite flirtations a ploy to separate Israel from God and weaken their strength?  Was the religious orgy simply a military strategy?  Is that why God reacts with such venom? God still showcases His power- but it certainly does reduce the number of men in the camp.

Stories like these are hard for me to make much sense of in our context.  How do you reconcile a God who kills 24,000 of His own people with the God we see through Jesus' message of love and grace?

One thing is clear.  God takes idolatry and sexual sin seriously.  And that even those people who saw His power so directly weren't immune to the charms of such sin.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
Numbers 24: 23-25


Balaam concludes his terse curse verses.

Unfortunately, no one can survive God's wrath when He heads down a path like this.
Ships will come from Cyprus
They'll conquer Asher and Eber
But don't celebrate much- they too will come to ruin.

At this point Balaam skipped town- and Balaak made no attempt to pursue him.

It took him a long time, but Balaak seemed to finally get that this whole scheme wasn't going to work out.  And while it's easy to view him as a stubborn, devious plotter it's also easy to cling to your own devices of manipulation, deception and self-delusion.  But at least in this instance, the attempt to hang on- the attempt to try to use God against His own people only resulted in more and more heartache.

Not Even Barbie Will be Spared
Numbers 24: 21-22


At this point, Balaam is rolling.  He looks over and sees the Kenites and curses them too.

He says,

Yeah, you've got a secure dwelling.
It's like a nest made of stone.
But that's not gonna stop Ashur.
You'll be taken captive and destroyed.

It seems like Balaak has taken a big stick and beat a horne'ts nest trying to get honey.  The result is a whole lot of stinging.  Perhaps the message here is simply God's power.  So much capacity for love and grace- but so much power to destroy when people try to manipulate Him.

This is a scary image to picture as God- until you frame it in its context.  God is saying- don't mess with Me, and don't mess with My children.  As one of God's children, it is comforting to realize just how much God has my back.

Curses, Foiled Again
Numbers 24:20


So since, he was rolling, Balaam spots Amalek (I'm guessing the nation of, not some guy named Amalek) and keeps the curses flowing.  Amalek seems to be the arch-nemesis of Israel- Esau's grandson was named Amalek, so I guess these are his people but they often get a little feisty around the chosen folks.

Balaam predicts that though they were the first nation, they will end in total destruction.

This seems to be a little more of the same from the last section.  God says, you can't buy My love.  I will not be manipulated.  And here's a little curse for your trouble.

Balak's Bad Investment


Numbers 24: 15-19


Balaam gives his warning- but the word "warning" implies the opportunity to escape- so perhaps it's more accurate to call Balaam's oration a curse.  He says:

Here's my prophecy.
I see clearly.
I hear God's word.
I have knowledge from God,
He speaks to me in visions.
In those visions, I submit and God opens my eyes.

So, I see this guy, but He's not here right now.
I sense Him, but it's not like he's nearby.
He'll be like this star rising out of Jacob
or a sceptor out of Israel.
And when He comes- look out!
He'll crush Moab's head and Sheth's skulls.
Edom?  Seir?
Conquered.  Conquered.
In contrast- watch Israel grow.
This ruler will come through Jacob and destroy the survivors of the city.

Balak might be up for the schmuck of the year award.  He goes out and hires Balaam thinking he's got an inside source to combat God's people from the inside.  Not only does his plan not work- he ends up making things even worse for his people.

Not only will I not curse Israel, since you asked, I'll bless them and curse you.  Oops.

It seems to me the message here is that God is a not a puppet to be manipulated by His people.  His spokespeople can't manipulate reality and say whatever benefits their particular cause or pet project.  Balaam couldn't find a loophole to squeeze through and frame God's will differently for his own purposes.

And neither can we.  Explaining God's will away through political propaganda, American ideology, or even with rhetoric designed to excuse and comfort ourselves doesn't change God's will.  And clearly, He doesn't like the attempt to proclaim his will inaccurately for selfish gain.

As for the prophecy itself, it seems to point to Jesus, although it seems a little violent for Jesus' style. It's easy to see why the people of Jesus' day were expecting a different kind of Messiah- one who was a little more Dirty Harry than Prince of Peace.

3rd Time's a Charm
Numbers 23:27- 24:14


By now it should be clear to Balak that Balaam is not the guy to deliver a curse on God's people. However, undaunted, he hypothesizes that it's the location that is the issue, not the fact that his medium is flat out saying that he won't speak against God.  Is Balak hoping that God will love His people less if He sees them from a different angle?  Oh yes, when I see them in profile, it's clear these people aren't worth protecting...

Perhaps this was a spot that Balak considered holy- and thought that God would think so too.  No dice.   Peor has the same effect as the other locations, even though there are still seven altars built for seven bulls and seven rams.

Balaam didn't need to divine a message from God this time. Since he saw that God was happy to bless Israel, he just looked out to the wilderness, saw the Israelites in their camps and spoke another God-poem.

Here comes another prophecy from Balaam
He sees things like they are
This guy hears God's words
Sees God's visions
Humbles himself and has his eyes opened

Jacob, you have some fine tents
Israel, I like where you live

Your land spreads out like a valley
Like a garden before a river
Like God's own aloes
Like cedars by the water
That water will flow from their buckets
And there will be more than plenty for their seed

Agag has nothing on their king
Israel's kingdom will be exalted

God brought them out of Egypt
They have the strength of a wild ox
Hostile nations are devoured by them
They will break their bones into little pieces
They pierce them with their arrows
Look at them crouching like a lion
Or even a lioness- who would be foolish enough to stir them up?
(I imagine Balaam gives Balak a good hard stare on this line)

May those who bless Israel be blessed
May those who curse them be cursed

So not only has Balaam not cursed Israel- he seems to be cursing Balak instead.  No plot twist, Balak isn't happy.

He claps his hands (NOT in applause) and says... DUDE! I said curse them- and three times you've blessed them.  Go home.  I said I would pay you a lot- but God has stopped you from being rewarded.

This is kind of funny.  Balak obviously believes in God's power or he wouldn't want this curse so badly- and his phrasing (God has stopped you) seems to hint that this curse might not be just for show.  But he seems shocked that Balaam wouldn't value money over integrity.

Balaam replies- look, I only did what I said I would.  No amount of money could stop me from saying what God wanted me to.  So, yeah, I'm going back home... but before I do, let me tell you about what the Israelites are going to do to your people.

The lesson here is more of the same.  God can't be manipulated.  Your craftiness isn't smart enough to fool Him.  As a result, stay on His side instead of trying to play both sides from the middle.

And if you do the same thing three times, you're likely to get the same result all three times.

Fool Me Once...
Numbers 23: 13-26


Undaunted, Balak continues.  Look- I'll take you somewhere new where you can see the Israelites- and we'll try this thing again.  Remember... we're looking for a curse here.  Balak builds seven new altars and sacrifices a bull and a ram on each of them.

Balaam tells him, stay with your sacrifices while I go talk with God. God gives another message for Balak once again in poetic form.

Listen up Balak,
Zippor's kid.
God's not a man- He doesn't lie.
God's not human, He's not gonna change His mind.
It's not like He acts without thinking.
It's not like He promises and backs out.
God has commanded me to bless.
I can't change God's command.

Jacob is looking prosperous.
Things are rosy with Israel.
God's with them.
He's cheering them on.
He brought them out of Egypt
and they are as strong as oxen.
There's no witchcraft working against Jacob,
no evil spells haunting Israel.
People will look at Jacob
and at Israel and say- look what God has done!
These people are like lions,
they won't rest until they devour their prey
and drink the blood of their victims.

This was not the message Balak was looking for.  He says- look if you're not gonna curse them, at least don't bless them.

Balaam says, don't shoot the messenger.  I told you I have to do what God says.

OK, all sympathy for Balak is pretty much gone.  Wouldn't he have figured out the first time that this whole curse Israel thing isn't going to work?  Maybe he's just invested so much in this plan that there's no other option.  It's like the Cubs and Alfonso Soriano.

I think what's significant here is how loyal God is to His people.  They've whined, and He's punished.  They are unfaithful and ungrateful but still when another offer comes along, God says, these are my children, and I'm sticking with them.

A comforting idea to consider as God's children of this generation.

The Old Bait and Switch
Numbers 23: 1-12


So Balaam begins his work as Balak's lackey.  It seems the motivation here for Balak is to manipulate God and lure Him away from the Israelites.  Balam stands by his, "I can only tell you what God allows me to" spiel.

But Balaam has Balak help him build seven altars and on each altar they sacrifice both a bull and a ram.  Then Balaam exits to a high place to talk with God.  He tells God of the sacrifices and God tells him His message to deliver.

Balak is salivating- this is it- we've done it.  He's like Wile E Coyote thinking that the ACME company has finally come through.  He can almost taste the road runner... and then the boulder falls from the sky.

Balaam delivers the message (written in Numbers as poetry).  So- Balak the king brought me here- and said c'mon man- curse Jacob- denounce Israel- all the cool kids are doing it. 
But how can I possibly curse or denounce people that God hasn't?
I go to the hilltop and I can see them.
They keep themselves away from the other nations.
And you can't even count them.
You couldn't even count a fourth of them.
I hope my death will be righteous like their's will be.

Balak realizes he has been crossed.  What are you doing?  I said CURSE them, not bless them. 

Balaam says- dude, I told you- I'm only saying what God tells me to.

While elements of this story are amusing- the enemy of God who thinks he's clever gets double-crossed and Israel is blessed, there's also an element of false pretense.  Balaam has to know that things aren't going to work out the way that Balak intends, yet he lets him go through the motions of travel and altar building/sacrifice in vain.   Balaam was up front about his message though, if you bring me, I'll only speak God's words. Since Balak insisted, perhaps the fault lies there.  Carnivorous Vulgaris, indeed.

It is interesting that Balaam promises nothing other than to speak God's words and lets Balak hoist himself by his own petard.  Maybe that's the lesson here, to deal with those who are potential enemies with God's messages and let any damage that comes be self-inflicted.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Numbers 22: 21-41


This passage is an interesting mix of bizarre and enthralling.

So Balaam gets up in the morning and heads out with the Moabite officials as God has told him to do just verses ago, however- this makes God angry.  I'm not sure why.  Balaam's donkey possessing some extra sensory perception is able to see an angel wielding a sword in the path and diverts into a field.  Balaam isn't a fan of this route and struggles to get the donkey back on the road by beating him.  The ASPCA is not happy.

So a little further down the road this happens again.  Only this time, there was nowhere for the donkey to turn, so when he tried to turn he crushed Balaam's foot against a wall.  So Balaam beats the donkey again.

The angel appears a third time down the road a piece, and having no place to turn, the donkey just drops to the ground.  This gets Balaam a bit perturbed.  So he takes out his staff and beats the donkey a third time.

But this time, God opens the donkey's mouth and allows him to have a conversation with him.  Donkey (sounding nothing like Eddie Murphy) says, Why are you hitting me?  I'm a pretty decent donkey and all- there's no need continue to pummel me.

Balaam, not apparently phased by his animal's verbosity replies You made a fool out of me.  You're lucky I don't have my sword because if I did, I'd do more than beat you.

Which would have been a shame, because I'm thinking this donkey could make a bundle at carnivals and such.  I wonder how good a singer he was.

The donkey makes a strong argument.  On a roll and happy to not be Hee-Haw-ing he continues,   "Dude, I've been your donkey for a while.  Do I do this kind of thing ordinarily?"

Balaam pauses and says, "I don't suppose so."

At this point, God opens Balaam's eyes and he too sees the angel with his sword drawn and Balaam instantly loses all of his bravado.

The angel repeats the donkey's question- Why did you beat your donkey?  He saved your life.  I came to stop you from heading down this reckless path.  If he hadn't turned away I would have killed you- but I would have spared the donkey.

Balaam is beyond repentant.  I have sinned!  I didn't know you were there!  I'll go back if that's what you want.

But the angel says, "No, go with them, but speak only what I tell you" - which is what the plan was in the first place.  There's no word here about Balak's official's reaction to all of this scene.  Did Balaam just seem like an LSD addict?  Did they hear the donkey speak too?

When they get there, Balak comes to meet them, apparently a little annoyed.  Balaam, didn't I send an urgent message?  What's the delay?  Where have you been?  You do want this reward, right?

I'm here now, Balaam replies, but I'm not able to speak my mind.  Only what God tells me to say.

Balak makes some sacrifices and gives some of them to Balaam and the officials and then he takes him to where he can see the outskirts of the Israelite camp.

One thing that makes this story weird is not just that there's a talking donkey, but that no one seems at all phased by it.  An argument ensues between a donkey and a man.  The donkey makes more sense and the man doesn't seem to find the exchange odd.

Second, God sends an angel to stop someone from doing what He tells him to do.  And then tells him to do it after all.  The most sense I can make of this is that perhaps some chronology is off in Moses' storytelling.  Maybe Balaam leaves for the trip and this is the conversation alluded to verses earlier.  However, even in that reading some of the details don't make a whole lot of sense.

I also think that this story is foreshadowing Christ.  A wise creature in lowly form comes to stop wayward man from a path that leads to destruction.  In the process he is beaten, but without his connection to God, man would be killed.

And while the intention may not be a lesson about kindness to animals, there is clearly subtext about being overconfident in your own wisdom.  We can't make it alone.

That Ole' White Magic

Numbers 22: 1-20

Some interesting storytelling technique on Moses' part.  We leave the Israelite perspective and travel to Moab.  I'm not sure how Moses had access to the backstory here, but it opens the door for some questions that may be a little new to me.

So Balak is a little worried, having heard about all the carnage left in the wake of Israel- and at the size of the group out wandering and conquering.  In fact, his dread is even verbalized (in a quite odd way)- "“This horde is going to lick up everything around us, as an ox licks up the grass of the field.” Mmm, grass licking.

Doubting the Moabites ability to take them on directly, he calls for his favorite magician.  Penn and Teller weren't available, so he settled for Balaam.  Balak tells him (through the elders)- look- there's this mass of people coming from Egypt and they've settled in right next door.  They're too much for me to handle... unless you can do one of your infamous curse thingies.  I know that when you bless someone, they actually are blessed, and when you curse someone- they better look out, because bad stuff is coming.

It seems like Moses is setting up a variation on the let's see whose God is stronger theme.  My staff/snake will eat your staff/snake.  But Balaam takes the narrative in a different direction.  He says- give me the night- let me check with the LORD and see what He thinks about it. 

Huh?  So the Moabite sorceror (Probably played by Alan Rickman or Samuel L. Jackson in the film version) who just screams "bad dude" is checking in with Jehovah for direction.  Does this mean that God was with non-Israelites back in the day as well?  Were there other Jehovah inspired parts to the big picture plan that never made it into our canon?  How did a Moabite magic man have a direct link to the creator and why did God allow Himself to be used for someone's hocus-pocus schtick? 

God tells him directly- You don't want to mess with Israel .  I've blessed them.

So Balaam returns to the Moabite elders and says- you may as well go home.  God tells me to not go with you.

The elders return saying that Balaam had turned them down.  Not one to be deterred, Balak ups the ante.  He sends more and more important officials to persuade him- saying- look Balaam, if this is about money... don't worry about it, we're gonna take care of you.  C'mon- you know you wanna curse these guys.  All the cool kids are doing it.

Balaam says, look- you could give me all the silver and gold in the world and it still wouldn't be a good idea for me to cross God.  But I tell you what, spend the night, I'll talk to him again and we'll see if He has more to His message.

So God responds, since they're here and so eager for you... go ahead and go.  But only do what I tell you to.

Intriguing.  God still seems to be working for His chosen people, but He seems to have other followers in other places who He uses to accomplish to His goals.  It's not totally out in left field to assume that He still does.

All That Jahaz

Numbers 21: 21-35

And the traveling continues.

Israel seeks permission from the Amorite king to pass through promising to keep on the King's Highway- staying out of vineyards and wells along the way.  King Sihon makes a bad decision and instead of allowing passage, decides to confront the Israelites.  So a battle ensues at Jahaz and the Israelites do well (having God on their side and all).  They overtook all the cities of the Amorites and moved themselves in, including Heshbon where Sihon lived.

Perhaps mockingly Moses quotes a poem recounting Sihon's previous victory in taking Hashbon for the Amorites from the king of Moab.  The poem describes the great victory and restoration of the city to come under Sihon.  But here, Israel is the new inhabitant.  The poem may even be included to stress that Israel didn't just conquer some psuedo-army.  This is a force mighty enough that their battles resulted in poetry.  This is an army of legendary status... and they fell when confronted by God's chosen.

Spies went out into Jazer and the Israelites overthrow there too, driving out the newly relocated Amorites likely still reeling from the loss and destruction recently handed to them. 

Not detered by the Israelite victory, King Og of Bashan marched out with his army to meet the Israelites as they appraoched his city.  God tells the Israelites to buck up- I'm going to deliver him and his land just like I did the Amorites.  So the Isralites enter into battle and it's not pretty.  The Israelites don't leave a single survivor and take the land.

It seems that this passage illustrates the beginning of God's promise coming true.  He's delivering on this whole land thing and God's people may be starting to see the fruits of the generations of wandering in uncertainty.

It's hard for me, though, to not consider the perspective of the slaughtered here.  This context is so foreign to where we are and how we live that it's perhaps impossible to understand the concept of slaughter in God's name.  Maybe these were bad people, but the reading here suggests that they were folks defending what was their's- and the Israelites don't just displace them- they follow them to their new home and drive them out of it, too. 

I like this story much more as a metaphor of God's promises than as a reality of pain, death, and woe.  But regardless, it can serve as a reminder of God following through on what He promises and the folly of getting in His way.

Well, Well, Well
Numbers 21:10-20


This passage might be interesting if you're a scholar of bible geography.  I am not.

Most of the section seems to deal with the route of the Israelites- they hit Oboth, Iye Abarim, the Zered Valley, and near the Arnon which is the border between Moab and the Amorites.  This mini travelogue ends with an odd reference to "The Book of the Wars of the LORD."  I have no idea what this book is- but I'm surprised there isn't a really bloody movie based on it.

Then they travel on to Beer where God gives them water- which seems like a practical joke.  And when they reached the city called Prime Rib, God gave them some baloney.

But does this reference mean they traveled all of this way without water?  It might make it easier to empathize with their complaining spirits if they're going days without something to drink- especially days spent on the road.  They may not have dared to complain with the snakes around- and their throats may have been too dry to whine too much.

They are so happy to get water they write a song about it- or at least sang one:
 Spring up, O well! 
  Sing about it,
 about the well that the princes dug,
   that the nobles of the people sank—    the nobles with scepters and staffs.

To my knowledge, this was only a local hit, not getting much airplay internationally.  It was slightly more successful than their anthem about animal sacrifice called "Talkin' Dead Ram Blues" off the album "Blood on the Altar".

The section ends with more travel information.  They made it to Mattanah, Nahaliel, Bamoth, and finally ended up in "the valley in  Moab where the top of  Pisgah overlooks the wasteland."

I hope this is setting up something big, it doesn't seem to have much meat on it's own.

Snakes Alive!
Numbers 21: 4-9


How quickly the tone changes.  Verses ago they vanquish the enemy with the Lord's help, here they're back to complaining.  The Israelites head toward the Red Sea in attempt to avoid Edom- which is interesting in itself.  We'll ask for help to demolish entire cities, but these Edomites are a little too much for us.

But they got impatient on the long path, perhaps a bit grumpy from the realization of their own cowardice, and start shouting out things like- Are we there yet?  Why did we leave Egypt?  Just to die in the wilderness?  Moab won't stop poking me! There's no bread or water!  Can we take a bathroom break?  This food is terrible!

God reaches His breaking point and does more than just pull the car over and take off His belt.  He sends venomous snakes among them resulting in many Israelite deaths.  It seems like most of them should be dead by now with all of this killing.

Not surprisingly, the Israelites change their tune.  Umm, Moses- we might have been a little hasty with that whole we love Egypt bit.  In fact, we've sinned.  Could you maybe do something about these snakes?  Put a good word in for us with that whole prayer thing?

So Moses prays, but instead of God removing the snakes, He tells Moses to make a snake and put it on a pole- and if you get bitten, look at the snake and you'll live.  So Moses makes a bronze snake that serves as healing for the poisoned travelers.

This is a weird story.  Why not just get rid of the snakes?  Or the Israelites?

Perhaps God wants to cut down on the whining.  Removing the snakes would allow them to quickly fall back into complain-mode but an occasional bite on the ankle and glance to the bronze reminder might just keep them in check.

And maybe our prayers work this way too.  We pray for deliverance- but God may not end our problems.  Instead, He may create a way for us to deal with them.  And when we look at the snake, or the cross, or whatever balm has come our way we find peace and hopefully remember who supplied it.