Temporary Atkins Diet
Leviticus 23: 9-14

Seems like a lot of ground we've covered before. When the first harvest happens, they are to bring a sheaf of the first grain harvested and give it to the priest. The priest will wave it as an offering the day after the Sabbath. On that same day, a one-year old lamb (without defect) gets sacrificed as well. At the same time a mixture of flour and oil gets offered- and supposedly it smells pretty good... "a pleasing aroma." And the offering extravagnza is topped off with a drink offering (a quart of wine).

Until this offering was made, they weren't to eat any bread or new or roasted grain. This was a permanent law- for generations to come, wherever they happened to live, promised land or not.

What strikes me here is the focus of sacrifice. They didn't just give a percentage- or even save out the best at the end- the offering came first and they got was left over. Not just the best, but also the first.

The application seems fairly obvious and hard to live up to. It's even hard to figure out what the best and first is. I think it's a far cry from dropping a check in a plate passed around where all of your church folks can witness and approve. It may have a lot more to do with how we treat each other, how we look out for each other, how we love each other. Maybe I'm missing the point a little, but in short, sacrifice seems to be all about love. You're more important than me- so let me make your life better by sharing- my money, my goods, my time- or perhaps most importantly (not that the others aren't crucial, too) my heart.

Crack-er Houses
Leviticus 23: 4-8

Another short section detailing specifics of Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. On day fourteen of the new year Passover begins at twilight. The next day marks the start of the Feast of Unleavened Bread- one week of matzo-city. On the first day they are to hold a "sacred assembly" and to refrain from working. For that week they are to present offerings by fire daily building up to day seven- another sacred assembly- another day off from working.

And so began the tradition of national holidays. Mandatory days off. I wouldn't want to do the work they had to do in between, but I like the idea of days with NO work. Sign me up.

And I Thought Sleeping Through Sermons was a Bad Thing

Leviticus 23:3

Here's one of those odd one verse sections. Basically, God says work for six days- rest on the seventh, no matter where you live. He refers to the day as a day of sacred assembly- and that's the phrase I find particularly interesting. I guess not the phrase itself, but that it's found in this sabbath section. Not that we rest. Not that our assembling is sacred. But that these two ideas are interwoven.

Our worship should be a period of rejuvenation. We should feel rested as a result of the time we spend together praising. That's an interesting concept- and difficult- especially if you've been wrestling with three kids, taught a bible class, belted out some harmony, and fought off hunger pains.

It's not about punching a clock with your eye on your watch waiting to check your service off of a list- but instead looking forward to shared time as a respite from the rest of the week.

Challenging mindset... amazing payoff.

Animal Testicles, Warts, Running Sores, and Other Dinner Conversation

Leviticus 22:17- 23:2

God tells Moses that any sacrifice- either to fulfill a vow or simply as a freewill offering must be an unblemished male from your cattle, sheep, or goats. Nothing blind, injured, or maimed, nothing with warts, or festering or running sores will be accepted. If it's a freewill offering you can bring an ox or sheep that is deformed- but only as a freewill offering- not if it's a vow fulfillment. I'm guessing this is since the freewill offering is above and beyond what was required.

God goes on to specify:

Don't offer an animal with bruised, crushed, torn, or cut testicles. They will not be accepted.

Don't offer an animal until it's eight days old. Keep it with it's mother for a week first. Don't slaughter a cow or sheep and it's young on the same day. This is an odd rule- is it to reduce trauma for the bovine clan? Maybe to reduce a rash decision regarding slaughtering for freewill offerings? I thought giving everything was a good choice- but maybe if i do it gradually I'll determine exactly what I want to offer. Perhaps, but seems a little fuzzy. I'm not sure about the why.

What's sacrificed must be eaten that day. Nothing is to be left until morning.

And to sum it all up, He says: Follow My commands, don't profane My name, The Israelites MUST acknowledge Me as holy. I make you holy- I brought you out of Egypt to be your God.

And this seems to be the key. I'm God- show me honor by giving Me the best and treating Me as holy. Remember what I've done for you? Give me what I deserve.

Finally He sets up the next section- description of feast days. Get ready for some rollicking discussion of unleavened bread.

So Who Delivers the Eulogy?

Leviticus 21- 22:16

So God gives Moses a list of rules for Aaron and his spawn to follow as they take care of priestly duties. First off, they can't make themselves unclean out of mourning practices- unless they are mourning a relative. For mom, dad, son, daughter, brother, or unmarried sister, he's welcome to become ceremonially unclean- but NOT for an in-law. Interesting that wife doesn't make this list. It's kind of implied that this kind of mourning for a wife would be natural- since the reason he can mourn for his unmarried sister is because she has no husband- but the wife,for whatever reason, is omitted from the Master's master list.

No shaving of the head, no cutting of the edges of the beard, they'd fit right in at a ZZ Top concert. Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed priest.

They also cannot cut their bodies. Sounds like a good rule of thumb, priest or not.

They can't marry former prostitutes or divorced women. This is to maintain their sanctity because they prepare God's food.

If a priest's daughter becomes a prostitute, she gets burned in the fire. I'm guessing it would be an amazing day for an Israelite community if they were able to abstain from killing a community or family member. Hooray- we all survived!

The high priest has even more restriction. He must keep his head covered. And he can't be in the presence of a dead body. He can't make himself unclean- even for a parent. He can't leave the sanctuary- or defile it. He has to marry a virgin- so no ex-prostitutes, no divorcees, no widows. This virgin must also be from his own people. This is so he doesn't defile his offspring among his people.

These Israelites were a tad ethnocentric. Let's keep those bloodlines pure. The major contextual difference between these folks and contemporary racists is the motivation. At this point the gospel is not for all. God's inclusive kingdom hasn't been established yet- and this physical kingdom was made of God's chosen people. If the Jewish folks hadn't kept this priestly family pure- I'm guessing it would complicate things when it came time to open the doors- it would be harder to establish a Jewish rejection of all things Jesus.

I get it. I see (at least in part) why things were this way. It's still awfully hard for me to swallow. How'd you like to be the young girl from the next village over with a pure heart, in love with a priest- but sorry- not Jewish.

Next up an equally troubling section. If a priest has any kid with a physical defect- blind, lame, disfigured, deformed, crippled hand or foot, hunchbacked, dwarfed, eye defect, festering sores, damaged testicles (nope, didn't make up any of those) then keep him away from God's food. He can still eat the priest's food- but don't let him near the altar or curtain.

So like this kid isn't going to have enough to deal with? Not only can you not play on the lacrosse team- not only are the kids gonna make up cruel names for you (anyone know a Hebrew word that rhymes with fester?), but even at home, you'll be treated as less than the rest of us. Keep that club foot out of the sanctuary.

Same thing for descendants who catch a skin diseases (like leprosy), has a bodily discharge, has touched something defiled by a corpse or someone who has had an emission of semen. They are to stay away from the sacred offerings until they are made clean again. They can't even eat the priest's food until they are made clean again. He'll be clean at susnet- and then he can eat. He can't eat anything a wild animal has torn apart.

It's funny to think that Jesus treats these people totally differently. The marginalized folks in all of these categories are the people who would have flocked to Him- the former prostitutes, the divorced, the widowed, the scorned gentile, the physically disabled- these are Jesus' people! He even touched the lepers.

And maybe this criteria is setting up a religious context that makes the work of Jesus even that much more remarkable.

Finally, God specifies that the priest food is for the priest's family- no one else. Not a guest, not a hired worker. The exception would be a slave- either bought by the priest or one born into his house. If a priest's daughter marries a non-priest... no more priest food, unless she is widowed or divorced before she has children and comes back to live with her family. Then she can eat it.

If you accidentally eat the priest's food (hmmm, I wonder who this charred piece of meat belongs to? Oh well, finders keepers) you have to repay it to the priest adding an extra one fifth of the value to it. And the priests are forbidden from scamming people into eating their food. Here taste this lamb... mmmm, oh wait- that was mine...where's my extra 20%?

I guess even these holy men of God needed to be kept in line. And maybe this last rule helps to expose the potential any of us have to fall in unthinkable ways. Nice to know that we have Jesus and don't need to stand in that long line at the tabernacle.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

Leviticus 20

And now the ramifications of not following the laws spelled out in the last few chapters.

Anyone who gives his child to Molech will be put to death. The community is supposed to stone him. I would not have liked to be in this take the law into your own hands kind of society. It seems like it would be very easy for someone who didn't like you to find a reason that would warrant stoning... he entered his house 38 minutes before the mold expired... STONE THE HERETIC! This system leaves little room for grace and mercy... which I think is kind of the point.

If the community closes it's eyes against the Molechian and doesn't break out the stones, God will cut him off from his people.

People who turn to mediums and spirits are cut off from their people.

If you curse your mother and father- you are to be put to death.

If a man commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, they are both to be put to death.

If a man sleeps with his father's wife- they are both to be put to death (the son and father's wife- the father is just embarrassed and likely depressed).

If a man sleeps with his daughter in law... yep you guessed it- both put to death.

Male homosexual sex is punishable by death.

If a man marries both a woman and her mother- the three of them are to be burned.

Sex with an animal? Both the man and the animal are to be killed.

If a woman "approaches" an animal for sexual purposes- they are both to be killed. First- what is this "approaches"? Come-on lines to a hedgehog? And secondly, and equally odd is the follow up- their blood will be on their own hands. I get the woman's blood being on her hands- but the animal's? That spotted owl should have known better?

If a man marries his sister and it is consummated, they are to be cut off from their people.

If a man has sex with a woman while she is on her period, they are to be cut off from their people. They have exposed the source of her flow. That's some fine detective work, Israelites.

If a man sleeps with his aunt or marries his brother's wife, they will be childless.

Finally , God sums it all up. Look- you can't follow the customs of the people who used to have this promised land. If you do, you'll get vomited out of it like they did. So keep the clean and unclean straight.

And finally, He adds, a medium or spiritualist among you must be put to death. Get to stoning.

I can't understand why people view the Old Testament as harsh and violent.

Hang on Israelites, a new day is coming.

Etc., Etc., Etc.

Leviticus 19

So we've reached the...oh, and another thing section. Here God gives Moses a list of commands- it's basically a laundry list of how to do good.

Respect your parents and obey the sabbaths. No idols- don't turn to them, don't make them. When you sacrifice a fellowship offering, do it right- you can only eat it for two days- after that it's impure (and potentially pretty nasty anyhow). If you eat it on day three or later- you are to be cut off from your people.

When you collect your crop- don't go to the edge of your land. Don't go over the land a second time- don't pick up grapes that you dropped. Save some for the poor and alien.

Don't steal, don't lie, don't deceive each other.

Don't swear falsely by God's name.

Don't cheat or rob your neighbor. Don't hold back someone's wages over night.

Don't curse the deaf (they might not know, but don't do it anyhow), don't put things in the path of the blind that they might stumble over.

Show justice- don't favor the poor or the rich- be fair.

Don't spread slander- don't endanger your neighbor's life.

Don't hate your brother- rebuke your neighbor so you won't be guilty too. Is God commanding them to police each other? This is a tough concept- am I responsible for the wrong someone else has done? Are you responsible for me? If so... sorry.

Don't seek revenge- don't bear a grudge- love your neighbor as yourself.

Don't mate different kinds of animals- so much for koala-parrot experimentation. Don't plant multiple kinds of seed on your land. Don't wear clothing of two types of fabric.

If a man sleeps with a slave girl who is promised to someone else but is still a slave- he's to be punished for it. No putting to death though- she was a still a slave. The man has to bring a ram as a sin offering to atone for it. Two ways to read this- she was only a slave- not a very serious sin... or she was a slave and couldn't say no- she shouldn't punished as severely. My head says the former, my heart says the latter. Since the man is the one bringing the ram- and since this society is way patriarchal, I think it's another case of women as property- or certainly of less stature. Bothersome.

When you plant a fruit tree in the new land- you're growing "forbidden fruit". For three years eat none of it. Year four is a holy year- all fruit is for sacrifice. Year five, eat away. This seems part sacrifice, part horticulture lesson. As a result, your harvest will increase.

Don't eat blood in the meat. No divination or sorcery.

Don't cut the hair on the sides of your head (did the Israelites resemble Krusty the Clown?), don't trim your beard.

No self-mutilation in mourning for the dead. No tattoos.

Don't make your daughter a prostitute. The land will be overrun with prostitutes if you do.

Observe the sabbaths- have reverence for the sanctuary.

No mediums or spiritualists.

Stand up when old people are around. Show them respect.

Treat immigrants like you do natives. Love them as yourself. Don't force them to learn your language or perform menial tasks that no natives would want to perform. Never say to them love it or leave it. Oh wait, I added that last part. First two sentences came from God, though.

Use honest scales and weights. Don't cheat each other.

Basically- be kind and loving to each other- and obey my commands. There's some weird stuff in there like mixing seeds and counting years for fruit and slave sex penalties- but mostly this is basic how to be good stuff. Treat each other the way you would want to be treated. Pay heed to My laws. Throughout the chapter He repeats I am the Lord your God.

Love God and love your neighbors as yourself. Sounds familiar.

Let's Talk About Sex... Listen up, Oedi

Leviticus 18

If Jake Gittes had read Leviticus 18, Chinatown might have been a much shorter film. So, I guess, I'm kinda glad he didn't.

In this chapter, God lays out all laws concerning sexual activity. If followed correctly, these laws will make for a much less bawdy family reunion. If you're planning an amorous evening, don't read this post until tomorrow. You'll thank me later.

Do not have sex with your mom (it will dishonor your father and... she's your mom. God seems to almost be saying, come on people... she's your mom!). No sex with dad's wife- so step mom's are right out too. Forget about your sister- half or full sister. Even if she didn't grow up in your home. Sex with your grand daughter would dishonor you. No sex with aunts, daughters-in-law, or sisters-in-law.

Don't have sex with both a woman and her daughter- or a woman and her grand-daughter. Don't take your wife's sister as a rival wife- don't have sex with your wife's sister while your wife is living. Don't approach a woman for sex while she is on her period. No sex with the neighbor's wife.

And then in the middle of it all: Don't give your children to be sacrificed to Molech. I'm assuming that there was something sexual that was part of the sacrificial process. Not that God would be okay with it otherwise- it just seems out of place in this passage if sex wasn't involved in some way.

Don't lie with a man as one lies with a woman. No sex with animals. The sex with animals is the first of these laws to specifically address women. Women can't present themselves for sex with animals either.

I would assume that the female equivalent of these other laws would, however, also be true- I think that the lack of specificity says more about a stifling patriarchy in that culture than allowable female promiscuity.

God frames these laws around the idea of being different from surrounding nations. Don't be like Egypt, don't be like Canaan. If you defile this land it will vomit you out like it did the former inhabitants.

It's easy to write this chapter off as disgusting and obvious. Only the most depraved would... fill in the blank. But post-flood, sexual partners would have been at a minimum, especially in a culture that allowed polygamy. And even as the population grew, in a time before cars, telephones, or even singles.com- how much more difficult would it have been to meet someone who wasn't related to you in some way?

Maybe God is saying- this kind of thing was never ideal. Enough generations have gone by...stop it.