Crack-er Houses
Leviticus 23: 4-8

Another short section detailing specifics of Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. On day fourteen of the new year Passover begins at twilight. The next day marks the start of the Feast of Unleavened Bread- one week of matzo-city. On the first day they are to hold a "sacred assembly" and to refrain from working. For that week they are to present offerings by fire daily building up to day seven- another sacred assembly- another day off from working.

And so began the tradition of national holidays. Mandatory days off. I wouldn't want to do the work they had to do in between, but I like the idea of days with NO work. Sign me up.

And I Thought Sleeping Through Sermons was a Bad Thing

Leviticus 23:3

Here's one of those odd one verse sections. Basically, God says work for six days- rest on the seventh, no matter where you live. He refers to the day as a day of sacred assembly- and that's the phrase I find particularly interesting. I guess not the phrase itself, but that it's found in this sabbath section. Not that we rest. Not that our assembling is sacred. But that these two ideas are interwoven.

Our worship should be a period of rejuvenation. We should feel rested as a result of the time we spend together praising. That's an interesting concept- and difficult- especially if you've been wrestling with three kids, taught a bible class, belted out some harmony, and fought off hunger pains.

It's not about punching a clock with your eye on your watch waiting to check your service off of a list- but instead looking forward to shared time as a respite from the rest of the week.

Challenging mindset... amazing payoff.

Animal Testicles, Warts, Running Sores, and Other Dinner Conversation

Leviticus 22:17- 23:2

God tells Moses that any sacrifice- either to fulfill a vow or simply as a freewill offering must be an unblemished male from your cattle, sheep, or goats. Nothing blind, injured, or maimed, nothing with warts, or festering or running sores will be accepted. If it's a freewill offering you can bring an ox or sheep that is deformed- but only as a freewill offering- not if it's a vow fulfillment. I'm guessing this is since the freewill offering is above and beyond what was required.

God goes on to specify:

Don't offer an animal with bruised, crushed, torn, or cut testicles. They will not be accepted.

Don't offer an animal until it's eight days old. Keep it with it's mother for a week first. Don't slaughter a cow or sheep and it's young on the same day. This is an odd rule- is it to reduce trauma for the bovine clan? Maybe to reduce a rash decision regarding slaughtering for freewill offerings? I thought giving everything was a good choice- but maybe if i do it gradually I'll determine exactly what I want to offer. Perhaps, but seems a little fuzzy. I'm not sure about the why.

What's sacrificed must be eaten that day. Nothing is to be left until morning.

And to sum it all up, He says: Follow My commands, don't profane My name, The Israelites MUST acknowledge Me as holy. I make you holy- I brought you out of Egypt to be your God.

And this seems to be the key. I'm God- show me honor by giving Me the best and treating Me as holy. Remember what I've done for you? Give me what I deserve.

Finally He sets up the next section- description of feast days. Get ready for some rollicking discussion of unleavened bread.

So Who Delivers the Eulogy?

Leviticus 21- 22:16

So God gives Moses a list of rules for Aaron and his spawn to follow as they take care of priestly duties. First off, they can't make themselves unclean out of mourning practices- unless they are mourning a relative. For mom, dad, son, daughter, brother, or unmarried sister, he's welcome to become ceremonially unclean- but NOT for an in-law. Interesting that wife doesn't make this list. It's kind of implied that this kind of mourning for a wife would be natural- since the reason he can mourn for his unmarried sister is because she has no husband- but the wife,for whatever reason, is omitted from the Master's master list.

No shaving of the head, no cutting of the edges of the beard, they'd fit right in at a ZZ Top concert. Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed priest.

They also cannot cut their bodies. Sounds like a good rule of thumb, priest or not.

They can't marry former prostitutes or divorced women. This is to maintain their sanctity because they prepare God's food.

If a priest's daughter becomes a prostitute, she gets burned in the fire. I'm guessing it would be an amazing day for an Israelite community if they were able to abstain from killing a community or family member. Hooray- we all survived!

The high priest has even more restriction. He must keep his head covered. And he can't be in the presence of a dead body. He can't make himself unclean- even for a parent. He can't leave the sanctuary- or defile it. He has to marry a virgin- so no ex-prostitutes, no divorcees, no widows. This virgin must also be from his own people. This is so he doesn't defile his offspring among his people.

These Israelites were a tad ethnocentric. Let's keep those bloodlines pure. The major contextual difference between these folks and contemporary racists is the motivation. At this point the gospel is not for all. God's inclusive kingdom hasn't been established yet- and this physical kingdom was made of God's chosen people. If the Jewish folks hadn't kept this priestly family pure- I'm guessing it would complicate things when it came time to open the doors- it would be harder to establish a Jewish rejection of all things Jesus.

I get it. I see (at least in part) why things were this way. It's still awfully hard for me to swallow. How'd you like to be the young girl from the next village over with a pure heart, in love with a priest- but sorry- not Jewish.

Next up an equally troubling section. If a priest has any kid with a physical defect- blind, lame, disfigured, deformed, crippled hand or foot, hunchbacked, dwarfed, eye defect, festering sores, damaged testicles (nope, didn't make up any of those) then keep him away from God's food. He can still eat the priest's food- but don't let him near the altar or curtain.

So like this kid isn't going to have enough to deal with? Not only can you not play on the lacrosse team- not only are the kids gonna make up cruel names for you (anyone know a Hebrew word that rhymes with fester?), but even at home, you'll be treated as less than the rest of us. Keep that club foot out of the sanctuary.

Same thing for descendants who catch a skin diseases (like leprosy), has a bodily discharge, has touched something defiled by a corpse or someone who has had an emission of semen. They are to stay away from the sacred offerings until they are made clean again. They can't even eat the priest's food until they are made clean again. He'll be clean at susnet- and then he can eat. He can't eat anything a wild animal has torn apart.

It's funny to think that Jesus treats these people totally differently. The marginalized folks in all of these categories are the people who would have flocked to Him- the former prostitutes, the divorced, the widowed, the scorned gentile, the physically disabled- these are Jesus' people! He even touched the lepers.

And maybe this criteria is setting up a religious context that makes the work of Jesus even that much more remarkable.

Finally, God specifies that the priest food is for the priest's family- no one else. Not a guest, not a hired worker. The exception would be a slave- either bought by the priest or one born into his house. If a priest's daughter marries a non-priest... no more priest food, unless she is widowed or divorced before she has children and comes back to live with her family. Then she can eat it.

If you accidentally eat the priest's food (hmmm, I wonder who this charred piece of meat belongs to? Oh well, finders keepers) you have to repay it to the priest adding an extra one fifth of the value to it. And the priests are forbidden from scamming people into eating their food. Here taste this lamb... mmmm, oh wait- that was mine...where's my extra 20%?

I guess even these holy men of God needed to be kept in line. And maybe this last rule helps to expose the potential any of us have to fall in unthinkable ways. Nice to know that we have Jesus and don't need to stand in that long line at the tabernacle.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

Leviticus 20

And now the ramifications of not following the laws spelled out in the last few chapters.

Anyone who gives his child to Molech will be put to death. The community is supposed to stone him. I would not have liked to be in this take the law into your own hands kind of society. It seems like it would be very easy for someone who didn't like you to find a reason that would warrant stoning... he entered his house 38 minutes before the mold expired... STONE THE HERETIC! This system leaves little room for grace and mercy... which I think is kind of the point.

If the community closes it's eyes against the Molechian and doesn't break out the stones, God will cut him off from his people.

People who turn to mediums and spirits are cut off from their people.

If you curse your mother and father- you are to be put to death.

If a man commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, they are both to be put to death.

If a man sleeps with his father's wife- they are both to be put to death (the son and father's wife- the father is just embarrassed and likely depressed).

If a man sleeps with his daughter in law... yep you guessed it- both put to death.

Male homosexual sex is punishable by death.

If a man marries both a woman and her mother- the three of them are to be burned.

Sex with an animal? Both the man and the animal are to be killed.

If a woman "approaches" an animal for sexual purposes- they are both to be killed. First- what is this "approaches"? Come-on lines to a hedgehog? And secondly, and equally odd is the follow up- their blood will be on their own hands. I get the woman's blood being on her hands- but the animal's? That spotted owl should have known better?

If a man marries his sister and it is consummated, they are to be cut off from their people.

If a man has sex with a woman while she is on her period, they are to be cut off from their people. They have exposed the source of her flow. That's some fine detective work, Israelites.

If a man sleeps with his aunt or marries his brother's wife, they will be childless.

Finally , God sums it all up. Look- you can't follow the customs of the people who used to have this promised land. If you do, you'll get vomited out of it like they did. So keep the clean and unclean straight.

And finally, He adds, a medium or spiritualist among you must be put to death. Get to stoning.

I can't understand why people view the Old Testament as harsh and violent.

Hang on Israelites, a new day is coming.

Etc., Etc., Etc.

Leviticus 19

So we've reached the...oh, and another thing section. Here God gives Moses a list of commands- it's basically a laundry list of how to do good.

Respect your parents and obey the sabbaths. No idols- don't turn to them, don't make them. When you sacrifice a fellowship offering, do it right- you can only eat it for two days- after that it's impure (and potentially pretty nasty anyhow). If you eat it on day three or later- you are to be cut off from your people.

When you collect your crop- don't go to the edge of your land. Don't go over the land a second time- don't pick up grapes that you dropped. Save some for the poor and alien.

Don't steal, don't lie, don't deceive each other.

Don't swear falsely by God's name.

Don't cheat or rob your neighbor. Don't hold back someone's wages over night.

Don't curse the deaf (they might not know, but don't do it anyhow), don't put things in the path of the blind that they might stumble over.

Show justice- don't favor the poor or the rich- be fair.

Don't spread slander- don't endanger your neighbor's life.

Don't hate your brother- rebuke your neighbor so you won't be guilty too. Is God commanding them to police each other? This is a tough concept- am I responsible for the wrong someone else has done? Are you responsible for me? If so... sorry.

Don't seek revenge- don't bear a grudge- love your neighbor as yourself.

Don't mate different kinds of animals- so much for koala-parrot experimentation. Don't plant multiple kinds of seed on your land. Don't wear clothing of two types of fabric.

If a man sleeps with a slave girl who is promised to someone else but is still a slave- he's to be punished for it. No putting to death though- she was a still a slave. The man has to bring a ram as a sin offering to atone for it. Two ways to read this- she was only a slave- not a very serious sin... or she was a slave and couldn't say no- she shouldn't punished as severely. My head says the former, my heart says the latter. Since the man is the one bringing the ram- and since this society is way patriarchal, I think it's another case of women as property- or certainly of less stature. Bothersome.

When you plant a fruit tree in the new land- you're growing "forbidden fruit". For three years eat none of it. Year four is a holy year- all fruit is for sacrifice. Year five, eat away. This seems part sacrifice, part horticulture lesson. As a result, your harvest will increase.

Don't eat blood in the meat. No divination or sorcery.

Don't cut the hair on the sides of your head (did the Israelites resemble Krusty the Clown?), don't trim your beard.

No self-mutilation in mourning for the dead. No tattoos.

Don't make your daughter a prostitute. The land will be overrun with prostitutes if you do.

Observe the sabbaths- have reverence for the sanctuary.

No mediums or spiritualists.

Stand up when old people are around. Show them respect.

Treat immigrants like you do natives. Love them as yourself. Don't force them to learn your language or perform menial tasks that no natives would want to perform. Never say to them love it or leave it. Oh wait, I added that last part. First two sentences came from God, though.

Use honest scales and weights. Don't cheat each other.

Basically- be kind and loving to each other- and obey my commands. There's some weird stuff in there like mixing seeds and counting years for fruit and slave sex penalties- but mostly this is basic how to be good stuff. Treat each other the way you would want to be treated. Pay heed to My laws. Throughout the chapter He repeats I am the Lord your God.

Love God and love your neighbors as yourself. Sounds familiar.

Let's Talk About Sex... Listen up, Oedi

Leviticus 18

If Jake Gittes had read Leviticus 18, Chinatown might have been a much shorter film. So, I guess, I'm kinda glad he didn't.

In this chapter, God lays out all laws concerning sexual activity. If followed correctly, these laws will make for a much less bawdy family reunion. If you're planning an amorous evening, don't read this post until tomorrow. You'll thank me later.

Do not have sex with your mom (it will dishonor your father and... she's your mom. God seems to almost be saying, come on people... she's your mom!). No sex with dad's wife- so step mom's are right out too. Forget about your sister- half or full sister. Even if she didn't grow up in your home. Sex with your grand daughter would dishonor you. No sex with aunts, daughters-in-law, or sisters-in-law.

Don't have sex with both a woman and her daughter- or a woman and her grand-daughter. Don't take your wife's sister as a rival wife- don't have sex with your wife's sister while your wife is living. Don't approach a woman for sex while she is on her period. No sex with the neighbor's wife.

And then in the middle of it all: Don't give your children to be sacrificed to Molech. I'm assuming that there was something sexual that was part of the sacrificial process. Not that God would be okay with it otherwise- it just seems out of place in this passage if sex wasn't involved in some way.

Don't lie with a man as one lies with a woman. No sex with animals. The sex with animals is the first of these laws to specifically address women. Women can't present themselves for sex with animals either.

I would assume that the female equivalent of these other laws would, however, also be true- I think that the lack of specificity says more about a stifling patriarchy in that culture than allowable female promiscuity.

God frames these laws around the idea of being different from surrounding nations. Don't be like Egypt, don't be like Canaan. If you defile this land it will vomit you out like it did the former inhabitants.

It's easy to write this chapter off as disgusting and obvious. Only the most depraved would... fill in the blank. But post-flood, sexual partners would have been at a minimum, especially in a culture that allowed polygamy. And even as the population grew, in a time before cars, telephones, or even singles.com- how much more difficult would it have been to meet someone who wasn't related to you in some way?

Maybe God is saying- this kind of thing was never ideal. Enough generations have gone by...stop it.

There Will NOT Be Blood

Leviticus 17

So apparently the Israelites have a thing for offering sacrifices to goat idols. I don't know what a goat idol is... but I do know that it sounds pretty silly. To combat this tendency, God decrees through Moses that anyone who sacrifices an ox, lamb, or goat instead of bringing it to the priests as a sacrifice is guilty of bloodshed. He will be cut off from his people. No one to hang out with but the goat idols. And they don't talk much.

God refers to this practice as prostitution. Perhaps prostitution was part of their idolic ritual- but at the very least God metaphorically equates the two concepts. Worshiping a false god is the same as whoring yourself.

The other major issue in this chapter is blood eating. Anyone who does it is to also be cutoff from his people. Maybe he can go hang out with the goat worshipers too. If you kill something that is lawful to eat, you must drain the blood out of it before eating it. The blood must then be covered with earth.

God explains why. The life of the creature is in the blood. And it's what is used for atonement. This law goes for the Israelite or the alien.

This sounds like not so big a deal. Of course I wouldn't eat blood. That's pretty nasty. We're not barbarians. But I'm guessing in a culture this legalistic, it was painstaking to ensure that all the blood was removed. I would think a medium-rare sirloin really wasn't much of an option. Although that sounds really good right now.

So what's changed for us? The life is still in the blood. It's not animal blood, it's Jesus' blood- and He encourages us to drink it. And I'm guessing that slaughter houses don't spend much time draining blood and burying it in the earth. Does this change in covenant release us from this burden? If not, perhaps the only option would be vegetarianism- or to kill your own food and prepare it carefully.

Or perhaps this is another contrast section- and between Peter's vision making everything clean and Christ's directive to drink His blood- the stigma is gone. I certainly hope so.

Finally, anyone who eats anything found dead or torn by wild animals must wash his clothes and bathe with water- and he will be unclean until evening. If he doesn't, he will be held responsible. Ah, the Israelite road-kill clause. Happy eating.

Escape Goat

Leviticus 16

The day of atonement is coming. And God tells Moses what Aaron needs to do. First off, he shouldn't be heading into the Most Holy Place all willy-nilly. God will be there in a cloud over the atonement cover of the ark and being in His presence will kill him.

He's to put on his linen underwear, sacred linen tunic, tie a linen sash around him and put on a linen turban. Basically, when in doubt, linen is the right answer for him. Before he puts them on, he's to take a bath. He is to get a bull for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering. And then from the Israelites, he's to get two male goats for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering.

The bull is for his own atonement and his family's. The goats seem to be for atonement for the community. Aaron is to cast lots and one goat becomes a sin offering- the other is to be released into the desert as a scapegoat (or as a former debater of mine calls it, an "escape goat"... I was so proud), or a goat of removal.

This is an interesting concept. He lays hands on the goat and confesses all the Israelite sin and then the goat is sent out into the desert with the help of an appointed Israelite. So atonement is made here without the need for bloodshed. There's still a sacrifice with the other goat- but this goat carries the sins into the desert. I'm not sure what to make of this. Is God trying out another system to see how it works? Is it that killing the one goat wasn't enough and God's showing that even upping the ante isn't enough to take care of it all? Jesus will still be necessary.

So Aaron can go behind the curtain to the Most Holy Place to make atonement. He's to take a censer of burning coals from the altar and two handfulls of finely ground fragrant incense when he goes. The incense goes on the fire making a fragrant shield of sorts between him and God's presence. This will keep him from dying... so he should probably be sure to remember it.

He's to sprinkle blood on the atonement cover- and then blood before it seven times.

He's to do the same with the goat for the Israelites' sins. He is to also sprinkle the tent of meeting with goat blood. Not the decor I would have chosen. The tent of meeting must be vacant except for Aaron while he's in the Most Holy Place and the tent of meeting. Blood from the bull and goat go on the horns of the altar and get sprinkled on the altar too.

Then Aaron goes into the tent of meeting and takes off the linen garments and leaves them there. He is to bathe with water in a holy place and put his regular clothes back on. Then he comes out in front of the people and makes the sacrfiice for himself and also for them. So sacrfice and sprinkling privately, cooking in front of the group.

The man who is in charge of the scapegoat has to wash his clothes and take a bath before returning back into camp. The remains of the bull and goat used are to be taken outside of camp and burned up. The person who does this must wash his clothes and take a bath before returning to camp.

This is a long term practice. It happens once a year on the tenth day of the seventh month. It's a sabbath- no work is to be done.

So lots of boring detail- the invention of the scapegoat- and perhaps most important of all- a clear sign that God takes this sin stuff seriously. It's hard to get rid of it- killing the animals, sending them into the desert- even burning them outside of camp ultimately won't be enough. It'll take Jesus.

Dealing with the Navy and Aunt Flo

Leviticus 15

And you thought the last several sections were disgusting.

Chapter 15 is a fun stroll through the world of bodily discharges, including but not necessarily limited to sexual secretions and menstruation. This is an entry you might not want to read out loud.

The passage covers three types of secretions. The first is described vaguely. If any man has a bodily discharge, he is unclean. That could mean a lot of things. He has a cold? He urinated? Sneezed? Was sweating? I've ruled out sexual and menstrual secretions since they're mentioned later.

Since it specifies a continual flow or blockage, I'm going to surmise that it's talking about open sores... and you thought it would be something gross.

So, if you've got them, you're unclean. Any bed you lie on and anything you sit on is unclean. If someone touches the bed of the puss-laden or sits where they sat, he is unclean.

Don't shake hands while you're in this state- if you touch anyone, he or she is unclean until evening. The same is true if you have these sores and you spit on someone. This is a lovely thought. If I don't have a gaping wound, I guess it would be okay to barrage you with a storm of loogies.

A number of other things will make you unclean if you come into contact with "Open-Sore Man". First off, if he sits on something while riding, it's unclean. If you touch anything that was under him while riding, you're unclean. If you pick up any of these things, you must wash your clothes and bathe with water...and you're still unclean.

If he touches a clay pot- it must be broken. Anything made of wood he touches must be rinsed with water. Once he's clean- he is to wait seven days. On the eighth, he takes two doves or pigeons to the priest for atonement sacrifices.

And we move onto semen. After an emission, a man's whole body must be washed and he is unclean until evening. Any article of clothing that gets any semen onto it must be washed- it is unclean until evening. If the discharge is from a sexual union, both the man and woman are unclean until evening.

Next, everyone's favorite topic of discussion, menstruation. When a woman's flow comes, she is unclean for seven days. Anyone who touches her is unclean. Anything she lies or sits on is unclean. Anyone who touches anything she sits on, bed or otherwise is unclean and must wash his clothes and bathe with water.

An ambiguous directive follows which may imply sexual activity with a woman on her period. If this happens, the man is unclean for seven days. The other possible interpretation here is if the two share a bed and the man comes in contact with the discharge.

If the discharge lasts longer than the seven days, she in unclean until it stops. It seems at least most if not all of the rules regarding her still apply in the prolonged period period as well.

When she's cleansed, she counts off seven days and then she is ceremonially clean. That means a woman is not often ceremonially clean. If she is flowing for seven days and purifying for seven more, then she is unclean two weeks of every month.

She then does the doves/pigeons bit with the priest.

Finally God tells Moses to keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean so they will not die in their uncleanness for defiling His dwelling place which is among them.

Keep them away from sores, sex, and menstruation? How? I guess that would also include leprosy and mildew. I wonder how much of this is a sanitation issue and how much a purely spiritual one. And I wonder how these people ever did anything but cleanse themselves of impurities and make sacrifices... and be paranoid about what they forgot to do.

Dew That to Me One More Time

Leviticus 14: 33-56

So, another fun-filled passage about how to clean the unclean. In this episode, we see the travails of keeping that house clean. Not in the dirty laundry on the floor kind of unclean but in the mildew is spreading and the priest has condemned my house kind of unclean. That'll make for an awkward dinner party.

The first order of business when you notice the mildew is to contact the priest. The priest then orders the house to be emptied before he inspects it. This way, if the house is declared unclean, all the things in the house won't be.

This seems a little odd to me. As long as the priest doesn't see it, it doesn't matter if the household items actually have spreading mildew. Hide them before the inspection! I guess it would be in your best interest to get rid of those contaminated things anyhow or the mildew would come back- and maybe there's a section coming up in a chapter or two dealing specifically with mildew plagued chifferobes.

The priest goes in- if the mildew looks green or red and deeper than the surface of the walls, the house gets closed up for seven days. After seven days he comes back to reinspect, if the mildew has spread, he orders all the contaminated stones be ripped out and deposited in an unclean place outside of town. Then they scrape the walls and the unclean shavings get dumped outside of town too. They replace the stones and replaster the house.

If the mildew comes back- the house is unclean. It's to be torn down and added to this toxic landfill beyond the town's city limits. Property values there... not so good.

If you go in the house while it's closed up, you are unclean until evening. If you sleep or eat in the house, you must wash your clothes and you may not be very smart. Or maybe you're very desperate. Losing your house is a big deal. What do you do for the couple of weeks your house is in limbo? What if you don't have family? What if your friends don't have any room? What if you can't afford a suite at Israelite Inn?

If the house has no mildew spread after the replastering, the priest proclaims it clean. Then to purify it, they do that whole two birds, cedar wood, hyssop and scarlet yarn ritual. Blood of the dead bird gets sprinkled on the house seven times which doesn't sound at all sanitary. The live bird is released into open fields... emotionally scarred, but still alive.

Then comes the weird(er) part. In this way, atonement is made for the house. Atonement for the house? Has the house created some horrible evil? Is this Amytiville, Israel? This coupled with early in the passage where God says that these things should happen were He to "put a spreading mildew in a house" seems to imply that perhaps this mildew is a punishment for something done wrong. God put it there and the house needs atonement.

Although this flies in the face of what Job and his friends experience(d) - later in Job (but earlier in history). Maybe God is saying, you're bound to have done something wrong, this house cleansing is a wonderful opportunity to get it all taken care of.

Either way, I'm glad to not live close to the mildew depot in the next town over.

Another Passage Veggie-Tales Won't Cover

Leviticus 14: 1-32

OK, this is a bizarre section. I would expect to find this in an explanation of voodoo practices and not so much in a Levitical discussion of leprosy cleansing. If the diseased person is proclaimed healed (by the priest leaving camp and checking him out) the priest decrees that two live clean birds, some cedar wood, some scarlet yarn and hyssop (a minty, European herb) all be brought for a cleansing ceremony.

So you take the birds and kill one of them over a clay pot of fresh water. Then you dip the live bird along with the wood, yarn , and hyssop into the blood of the dead bird. The formerly leperous person is then sprinkled seven times. I have no idea how, or with what. Do they wave the live bird now covered in dead bird's blood over this guy? Is it all mixed together and sprinkled? Is there any scenario where this isn't totally crazy?

The soon-to-be-clean guy shaves his hair, washes his clothes, and bathes in water. Perhaps doing this more regularly would have helped with his problem in the first place. It would at least have made him a little more popular. At this point he can enter camp- but not his tent for seven more days. Then he shaves the rest of his hair- his head, beard, eyebrows, and the rest- like Bob Geldoff in The Wall. More clothes washing, more bathing- and finally he's clean.

Then come the post cleansing sacrifices. He brings two male lambs and one ewe lamb, some of a flour and oil mixture and two-thirds of a pint of oil. In one way or another this covers the guilt offering and the wave offering.

More weirdness. Some of the blood from the guilt offering goes on the right ear lobe, right thumb, and right big toe of the one being cleansed. Then the oil gets sprinkled seven times (from the priest dipping his right index finger in oil pured into his left palm). Then using his palm, the priest uses oil to cover the blood on the ex-leper's earlobe, thumb and toe. The rest of the oil goes on his head.

Then a sin offering and a burnt offering. There's a reduced rate for the poor involving one lamb and doves or pigeons instead of so many lambs. A very similar process happens for the poor man to make him clean.

There maybe some metaphoric significance to the sacrifices or the ritual or the ear lobe- but it seems to me like more burdening for a group of people who are already quite burdened at this point. But perhaps if you were relieved of the prospect of finishing out your days in isolation as a leper, this procedure would seem like next to nothing in comparison.

I'm glad I'm not an Israelite.

Don't Do the Dew

Leviticus 13: 49-62

So even if you're pronounced "clean" your clothing might not be. And not unclean in the this is third day I've worn these jeans, they're starting to smell bad kind of unclean- more like go and burn those jeans before their retched-ness is spread throughout the community. You know, that kind of unclean.

So, the clothing is treated pretty much like people were in the last section. If they have mildew, take them to the priest, and he checks them out. He'll isolate it for seven days and then re-examine. If it's spreading, it's time to hit the tunic sale at JC Penney's- oh and you have to actually burn the infected piece of clothing.

If it hasn't spread, you can wash the clothing (what a novel idea). Then seven more days in isolation. If the stain hasn't changed, it goes to the fire. If it has faded and not spread, you can just tear that part of the clothing out. So you can keep the shirt, there'll just be this pesky hole when you wear it.

If the spot shows back up, into the fire.

It seems perhaps that this clothing quarantine can be looked at as a metaphor. At the risk of seeming a brimstone spewer- maybe the message is without Jesus, who can permanently cleanse our stains (that whole "whiter than snow" idea)- we're destined to a future in fire.

Or maybe it's marketing for Israelite laundry detergent.

Infection is Only Skin Deep

Leviticus 13: 1-46

A passage not for the squeamish...or the easily bored.

God spells out requirements for folks who potentially have skin diseases. In general, when rashes or odd skin developments occur, they are to consult priest-types. It's become sort of a tabernacle/health clinic. Although, there's not much treatment going on...just the determining of clean or unclean.

Without getting into too much detail- if you have a rash- go see the priest. If it's a swelling, rash or bright spot, and if the hair has turned white and the sore appears to be more than skin deep- bad news- you are contagious. The priest declares you to be ceremonially unclean. You are isolated for seven days. If there's no change, seven more days of isolation. If it's gone away at that point, you're clean again. If not, you are unclean- and you must live alone outside the camp.

Other scenarios are similar. If disease covers you head to foot, you are clean- but once raw flesh appears you are unclean. When the raw flesh turns white, you are clean again...congratulations.

If you have a boil that heals and it leaves a white mark or a reddish-white mark- you have to go to see the priest. If it seems more than skin deep or there's white hair in it- you're unclean. The priest can check again in seven days. Close to the same thing for burn victims.

If a man or woman has a burn on his or her head or chin- and it seems deep and the hair in it is thin and/or yellow, that's gross. And you're also unclean. In fact, it's an unclean itch. But if it's just skin deep and there's not too much black hair in it- you can just be put into isolation- instead of out of the camp. After seven days, if things are looking better, you have to be shaved except for the infected area and then put back into isolation for another week. If it spreads, the priest doesn't even need to look for yellow hair- you're unclean... and probably not too happy about it. But if black hair has grown back in, the itch has healed- and you are clean.

Dull white spots are a harmless rash- get checked out, but you're clean.

Balding men are clean- and quite distinguished, I'm discovering. However, if you have reddish-white sores on your forehead or bald head- uncleanness awaits you.

So the priests are somehow qualified to make medical determinations. And these determinations impact not just the health of the person and the community, they dictate the future of the infected person. The person who is suffering isn't usually helped- just relegated to more suffering.

As long as you are infectious- you must wear torn clothes and not take care of your hair (easy if you're bald) cover the lower part of your face and shout UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! when people approach. You also live alone outside of the camp.

This to me is the heart of this passage. What a terrible shock to discover that you've got something on your skin. There aren't a lot of health options for you. And if the priest declared you as unclean, life as you know it drastically changes. You leave behind your family, your friends, your livelihood, in fact everything. Every interaction is a reminder of your unclean state- there's little hope of ever returning to how things were. Life moves on without you.

And maybe it's all a metaphor. Without a savior our boils are infectious- we are truly unclean. We are outcasts who can't repair the state of our damage. Granted, these people haven't caused their state through sin- and much of this seems to be to avoid contagion- but in a very real sense if we were, like they were, without the Messiah- we are isolated, scarred and damaged.

But with Him, the health plan just got a whole lot better.

Pregnant Pause

Leviticus 12

So it was a bad time to be a woman.

God tells Moses the purification procedure following childbirth. If she has a son, she's ceremonially unclean for a week. On day eight, the boy is to be circumcised- plenty of life left for the trauma to be reduced. Then she has 33 days to wait for purification from the bleeding. She can't touch anything sacred during this period of time. If she has a daughter, she has a two week period of uncleaness followed by a 66 day wait to be purified.

After this period of time, she is to bring a year old lamb to the tent of meeting for a burnt offering and a dove or pigeon as a sin offering. If she can't afford the lamb, she can bring two birds instead.

My puzzlement comes not from the need for purification- I think I get the whole sacredness of the blood thing (at least in part). My bigger question is the differing purification times for the gender of the child. So, having a daughter makes you twice as unclean? Is this simply a reaction to cultural norms of the time? Is God making a statement of some kind about gender? Surely bleeding in the mother wouldn't differ depending on the gender of the child? It reads almost like punishment for producing a less desirable gender. This is troubling for two reasons (at least). First, it's beyond the mother's control- and second, and more importantly, it suggests that a male child is a more desirable alternative.

In my mind this is just one of a number of troubling passages concerning gender differences...and apparent misogyny...and misogyny might be too strong of a word, but certainly a different standard and value being placed on gender.

Contrast this issue with the New Testament concept of their being no male, and no female in Christ.

Wilbur's Hey-Day

Leviticus 11

God tells Moses and Aaron about the food they need to keep out of their systems...actually even out of their hands. Just touching the carcasses results in being unclean.

As far as land animals are concerned, a good rule of thumb is if it has a split hoof and chews cud, dinner is served. If it's only one and not the other- stay away. So no camels, and avoid rock badgers, rabbits, stewed or otherwise, and...the killer...no pigs.

Water creatures are also discussed. If they have fins and scales- they're probably okay. Otherwise- you shouldn't just avoid eating them- you should also detest them.

The list of detestable birds includes eagles, vultures, black vultures, red and black kites, ravens, owls (horned, screech, little, great, white, and desert- if it's me, I'm just going to keep away from owls), bats, cormorants, gulls, osprey, storks, herons, and the belvoed hoopoes. As a Carson-Newman Eagle- I take the detestable comment a bit personally, but at least we shouldn't get eaten by any wayward Israelites.

Next comes a list of insects to avoid. In my way of thinking, this list is really not too important- I won't be ordering any fried termites anyhow. But maybe in this legalistic system something inadvertantly flying in your mouth would count. Here God just tells them the "OK to eat" ones: locusts, katydids, crickets and grasshoppers.

Before moving onto the crawling on the ground animals, there's a reminder about the whole unclean thing. Don't touch the carcasses or you are unclean until evening and you need to wash your clothes.

So of the crawling animals- stay away from the lizard (great, monitor, and wall), weasel, rat, gecko, the skink and the chameleon. So even if you saw what appeared to be a good eatin' skink, you'd still need to maintain your self-control. In fact, He goes on to say that all of these animals are detestable. These animals also make things unclean if they die on them. If they die on the shelf, the shelf is unclean, if they die in a clay pot- everything in the pot is unclean- and you need to break the pot. If they die in a spring, it's still clean, but if you touch the animal to remove it, you are unclean. If it dies on seeds, they are still clean unless they've been watered- then they're unclean.

Even if it's an animal you're allowed to eat, you are unclean if you touch the carcass- which I would imagine makes food preparation a little tricky.

So on top of all the sacrifice things you need to learn- here's a whole new list of things to be paranoid about. I'm guessing Egg McMuffins weren't the cleanest of choices.

I'm not sure what to take from this section except that being an Israelite would likely make you obsessive-compulsive.

Strange Fire

Leviticus 10

Day one of the priesthood may have seemed pretty cool. Whatever day happens in Leviticus 10 surely seemed much less so. After all the careful instruction, two of Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu, thought they had a better approach to it all. I don't know if they just took a short cut through the proceedings, burned the wrong meat at the wrong time, didn't pay attention to the fat on the sacrifice or what- but the NIV describes the error as "unauthorized fire." It seems from Moses' explanation that whatever it was, God took it as irreverance. He says:

"...in the sight of all the people I will be honored."

The result, that fire that usually consumes the sacrifice- consumed them. Aaron loses half of his priestly staff. Two of his boys go from proud ambassadors of God to shame of the clan of Aaron. Moses instructs a couple of their cousins to carry the charred corpses outside of the camp... and Aaron's family is told to keep a stiff upper-lip. No visible signs of mourning. Keep that hair trimmed. Don't rend your clothing. Others can mourn...but not you- if you show signs of mourning, you will die- and God won't be happy with the community. They are also to stay put in the Tent of Meeting.

I've always heard this passage used to teach the authority of silence. If God didn't decree it, it must be forbidden. Some of this may come from the King James translating "unauthorized" as "strange" although both words can be read that way. Not approved by God. I think though, that there's a rebellion inherent in the actions of these two. And with so much detail spelled out regarding the ceremonial procedures, it seems more likely that God's law was ignored, changed, abbreviated, or rebelled against.

It may be that this wasn't a case where God didn't specify and people were free to interpret. This was specific and deliberate law breaking. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it all. Whichever the case, God wasn't happy and the suffering was great.

God then tells Aaron that they must not drink any wine while in the Tent of Meeting. They need to be able to distinguish between the common and the holy- between the clean and unclean- and they must teach the people God's laws. This makes the context even richer. Why does this decree follow the Nadab and Abihu section? Is it that their sins were violating just this? They treated the holy as common? They treated the unclean as clean? And now God says- look... get it right- you're the priests, if you can't keep it straight, who can?

Moses then tells Aaron that he and his two remaining sons (who must be terrified) should get their share of the food that's left. There's some grain offering that's yours, there's also some breast and thigh that belongs to you all. He specifies what to eat and where to eat it.

When he comes back and discovers that they haven't eaten it, he's a little ticked. In fact they not only don't eat it, they let it burn up. He asks them- what's up? This was supposed to make atonement for the community- what's wrong with you?

Aarons replies. You may have noticed, this hasn't really been a banner day for the priestly profession. Do you think we really earned our share today? You saw how angry God was, right? Do you really think he would have been happy if we'd chowed down as if we'd done something to deserve this sacrifice? Moses hears this and reconsiders.

As good as they must have felt in chapter nine, Aaron is surely doing some heavy soul searching here. Is he wishing he'd never let Moses get him involved in the great Exodus? Is he determined to get it right? Is he growing more and more petrified of his God? More paranoid about getting everything just so? Questioning his own parenting skills?

Or is he slowly realizing the challenge of serving God- the difficulty of denying self and becoming immersed in the will of One greater than you- the frustration of not being in control and the necessity of trusting in the justness of your Creator?

And is that what we should take away? That submission is the key. God isn't interested in sacrifice that makes us happy- our service is catered to His whims, His desires, His decrees. Anything else is strange fire.

Rookies of the Year

Leviticus 9

So Moses calls Aaron, his sons and the elders and lets them know that opening day is imminent. He gives them specific instructions about their own sacrifices (bull calf for a sin offering, ram for a burnt offering) and what they are to tell the people to bring for their own sacrifices (male goat for a sin offering, one-year-old calf, and one-year-old lamb for a burnt offering, an ox and a ram for a fellowship offering, and a grain offering mixed with oil). Of course, these animals for the sacrifices are to be without blemish. This is happening because today, God makes an appearance.

So they do it- Moses gives us the play by play- details about blood on the horns, liver coverings, washing of inner parts, blood sprinkling and other gruesome yet somehow boring specifics of this slaughter-fest.

But it surely wasn't boring for them. I'm sure they were a bit unnerved keeping all the detail straight- but ultimately they were probably quite exhilerated. Finally, the work we've been training for- we're actually serving an amazingly important role for our community and more importantly for our God. We've found a way to truly make a spiritual difference in the lives of those around us and whatever inconvenience comes with it is totally worth it.

They're living the dream.

Moses and Aaron enter the tent of meeting and when they come out they bless the people. And the glory of the LORD appears to them all. Fire comes out of His presence and consumes the offerings. The people are awed- they shout for joy and fall face down.

All in all, a pretty good first day of work.

A Dull Party, Indeed

Leviticus 8

Ordination time- signigcant? Yes. Exciting? Not so much.

The LORD tells Moses to gather Aaron and spawn, oil, bull, lambs, garments, and unleavened bread- and bring the whole assembly to the Tent of Meeting. Aww do we have to go? Yup, 'fraid so.

Then Moses leads a drawn out ceremony involving his brother and his brother's children. They were washed. Aaron dons the tunic, sash, ephod and robe (stand back ladies). Moses also puts the breastplate on him fully equipped with Urim and Thummim- because it wouldn't be a party without Urim and Thummim. He put the turbin on Aaron's head and put the gold plate in front of it. ZZ Top played in the background.

Then Moses gets a little crazy with the annointing oil- getting the tabernacle and everything in it. He got the altar with seven sprinkles, including sprinkling utensils, the basin and stand- and even Aaron's head. I'm guessing this was done reverently and solemnly- although it would be way cooler if there was a holy super soaker that he loaded with the annointing oil and let it fly.

Aaron's boys get tunics, sashes and headbands. Slightly less stylish, but only slightly.

Then, the bull for the sin offering- Aaron and his sons place their hands on it's head. Moses slaughters it, gets some blood on his finger and purifies the altar with it. It kind of seems a little Lord of the Flies-ish. The rest of the blood gets dumped. The liver covering, kidneys and fat around there- and some other fat all get burned in a sacrifice. The rest of the bull- hide, flesh, inedible stuff, all get burned up outside of the camp.

This isn't the first reference we've had to taking part of the sacrifice outside the camp. What's this for? Is the carcass so unclean that God doesn't want it anywhere near the tabernacle? Is it to emphasize the difference in the value of the blood (metaphorically powerful) with the value of flesh (metaphorically weak)? Is it simply a logistical means to combat a putrid smell?

Similar process for the ram. Hands on its head. Blood sprinkled on all sides of the altar. Ram cut into pieces. Pieces, head and fat all burned. The inner parts and legs get washed, the whole ram gets burned. This is the burnt offering, a pleasing aroma to God.

Then comes the second ram- for the ordination. Once again Aaron and his sons place their hands on its head. Moses slaughters it- and puts some blood on Aaron's right ear, right thumb, and right big toe. Huh? To sanctify what he heard, what he did and where he went? Doubt it, but it's the best I've got. The right side was maybe simply the dominant side. Lefties never get any breaks...except maybe Sandy Koufax.

Aaron's sons come forward and get the ear, thumb, and toe treatment. The altar gets more blood on all sides. Aaron gets the fat- around the inner parts, around the kidneys (and the kidneys), the tail, the liver covering and the right thigh- as well as the bread basket and "waved" it as a wave offering. The bread consisted of a cake of bread, one made with oil, and a wafer. Aaron combined them- making a fat/right thigh sandwich and commenced to waving.

Then it all got burned to God. Aaron also waved the ram's breast that was Moses' share of the offering as a wave offering.

Moses takes blood from the altar and sprinkles it on Aaron, his sons and their garments, consecrating them. Then Moses tells them to cook the meat at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and eat it with the ordination bread. Whatever they don't eat gets burned up. They need to stay in this entrance for a week, day and night. Moses says to do these things so that they won't die. This ordination is serious business.

This does seem like a very significant ceremony, but not a very pleasant experience. I wonder how the central participants felt about it. Specifically Moses. As he writes about this event way down the road, is there a sibling rivalry that enters into the story?

Is Moses bitter that he's sitting outside the promised land (SPOILER ALERT) writing about his brother who is going through an elaborate consecration process. Does he think- after all I did, stupid calf-building Aaron gets the pomp and I simply get to observe. Is he sorry he didn't just go to Pharaoh on his own when God first asked? Does he purposely include details about himself here so we don't lose sight of the role he played- he's careful to point out (in detached third person) Moses did this in the ceremony- and Moses threw the blood, etc.

Or is he thrilled that his brother gets this opportunity? Happy to see someone dear to him be such an important part of God's work.

Maybe a bit of both? I wish him all the success in the world, just a little bit less than me.

And I like that Aaron, an important figure that doesn't seem to fight for the spotlight gets his day. He's not a king, he doesn't throw the gauntlet down, he's got that whole golden calf debacle in his not too distant past, but he's still central to God's work.

And despite our own golden-calf moments, we can be too.

The Birth of "The Wave"

Leviticus 7:28-38

God has Moses tell the Israelites that when they bring fellowship offerings, some of it goes to the priests. First off, they remove the breast from the animal and wave this breast before the LORD as a wave offering. I have no idea what the significance of "the wave" is. "hello, here's an offering for you." "Over here! The offering is over here!" Obviously not, but why a wave? It must have meant something.

So the fat is removed and burned for the LORD, and the breast and an additional thigh go to the priest as his share. This is to be for generations to come.

How much meat do the priests need? If everyone offering gives up a breast and a thigh to them, how much food are they eating? Seems like those holy robes would have to be continuously let out to allow for an ever growing sanctified gut.

Once again I'm struck by the enormous amount of detail they would have had to keep straight. And how time consuming all of this would be. And if these fellowship offerings were voluntary, this would make it so much easier to say...man, it's too much trouble, I stood in that line last week- and I really don't feel much like dismembering a carcass today.

But maybe these complications made the sacrifice an even greater expression of love for God. I'm willing to jump through all these hoops voluntarily because I recognize what You mean to me- and even with the sliver about You that I understand, I know enough to realize that I need You desperately.

And maybe our willingness to stick our necks out for each other, to complicate our lives to help someone else, to walk by faith when we don't know how it will work out does the same thing for us.

101 Uses for Animal Fat

Leviticus 7:22-27

Short section. So God tells Moses to tell the Israelites to hold off on the fat consumption- in fact don't eat any of it. If you eat the fat from an offering, you're to be cut off from your people. I wonder if all these people who were cut off from their own people formed their own club: the ex-Israelites, Unclean Fat-eaters Anonymous. What happened to these people who could no lunger be part of the tabernacle clan? Were they pointed to lives of misery and wandering? Were they necessarily cut off from God- or just from their people?

They are also not to eat any blood. Same consequence... picture Laurence Olivier... "I have no son".

They are, however, permitted to use the fat of dead animals for other purposes. Like what? pillow stuffing? food fights? arts and crafts? Jana suggests oil for lamps and soap. She's so practical.

Anyhow- no fat, no blood- which makes those earlier passages about eating the offerings a little clearer- apparently they didn't eat the fat offerings.

The "why" of it all isn't specified. Could be a health issue. Could be a purity issue. I think, in part, it is to show reverance for the blood that did for them and will for others bring the forgiveness so desperately needed. It's got a use...and it's not a beverage.

Jolly Good Fellow-ship Offerings

Leviticus 7:11-21

Fellowship offering regulations- they fall into two categories.

For expressions of thankfulness-along with the offering comes yeast free bread mixed with oil, yeast free wafers spread with oil, well kneaded cakes of fine flour mixed with oil, and some bread with yeast. The priest who sprinkles the blood of his offering keeps all of these extras. All the meat must be eaten that day.

If the offering is because of a vow- or a freewill offering (in case they weren't getting their fill of slaughter already) they still eat it that day- but it's ok if there are some leftovers for the next day. But by the third day, anything left needs to be burned up. Any third day meat eaten is impure- if it's eaten, no sacrifice credit is applied- and the eater is responsible.

Finally, if the meat touches anything ceremonially unclean, you can't eat it. If anyone unclean eats any of this fellowship meat, he is to be cut off from his people. If anyone touches something unclean, whether this unclean thing is a person or animal or anything else, and then eats, he is to be cut off from his people.

So it seems like maybe these fellowship offerings are shared meals between the priest and the offerer. I'm not sure about this, but it seems to make sense with the eating regulations. The priests must have been some stout dudes- Friar Tuck looking.

All of these offerings are a bit overwhelming- and it seems odd that they would think, you know I just haven't offered enough livestock yet, let's go offer some more. But maybe if this was their way of life, it served a greater purpose. Was this how they interacted with their community? Did they get a spiritual sense of belonging by continually trekking to the tabernacle and offering?

Once again, I'm struck by how harsh the regulations are. So if I give a freewill offering- which apparently I didn't have to do- and I ate it on the wrong day- I'm gone, an outcast, on my own, perona non grata. With the stipulations in place and the severity of repercussions, I'd not be very likely to offer more than what was required.

But perhaps the idea of fellowship- the need to experience belonging- the urge to be part of a group was so overwhelming that they were willing to risk making a mistake in order to gain the feelings of worth and acceptance that come from inclusion.

And if they risked so much- doesn't it indicate that the rewards of strong relationships are worth the fear and vulnerability that deep friendships require?