The Brotherhood of Black Sheep

Genesis 27:41-28:9

So Esau has lost his blessing and with it his patience for his family. In fact, he figures that Isaac is getting up in years and that his passing will be a great opportunity to kill his brother Jacob. Obviously, this is a poor choice- but it's hard for me to be too critical considering how Esau's been treated since day one. No, it doesn't warrant murder, but you can understand how he could be at his breaking point.

Unfortunately, or I guess fortunately, he's not too smart about it and mouths off enough that word gets back to Rebekah. I don't remember disliking Rebekah so much, but it seems like just about every choice we see her make is manipulative, controlling or deceptive. She whines about how much she hates the Hittite women and her melodramatics cause Isaac to send Jacob away to her less than trustworthy brother Laban. This family is bad news.

Maybe the lesson here is the importance of marrying well. She might have been a babe, but it seems like Isaac and Esau were both caused a lot of pain because of her attempts to work the strings of the puppet. She was looking out for Jacob- trying to protect him, but at what cost? Anyone who has ugly divorces within the family, or even ugly marriages, knows how widespread the damage can be. Happy men can ruin their lives by making the wrong choice. Trusting women can have their emotions and egoes demolished by picking the wrong man- and the carnage can spread to parents, siblings and most commonly, offspring. Witness Esau.

She tells Jacob he should hideout with Laban until Esau "forgets what you did to him." Whoa- 2 things here- first she seems to minimize her part in the whole affair. I mean, I know it was my idea and all, but look what YOU did. Second, she seems to belittle the extent of the damage done. Esau is mad enough to kill Jacob and she thinks they can wait it out until he forgets about it. What, in 75 years? Esau is a little simple-minded, but it seems like it's not too likely that one day he'll wake up and forget why he hates his brother so much.

Once Esau hears that Isaac blesses Jacob and send him away to avoid marrying a Canaanite woman, he reacts naturally. He goes to another famous outcast, Ishmael and marries his daughter. Knowing next to nothing about geography, I'm assuming that she's of the undesirable clan and Esau knows this will annoy Isaac. Ishmael died a few chapters back- but it's possible that the account is told out of chronological order. Since his death is listed at the end of a geneology, it might be that this account happens somewhere in the middle of that list. The other option is that going to Ishmael means going to Ishmael's people. The first choice makes more sense to me.

It's interesting that these two men, both of whom let the unfairness of their lives dictate their futures- Esau by plotting murder, Ishmael by creating a clan of hostility (maybe his fault, maybe a victim of circumstance) end up together wallowing in the injustices of life. This scenario seems to match my own experiences. When wronged, you seek out others wronged, discuss conspiracy theories and collectively fume. Sometimes the blowing off of steam is beneficial, sometimes it leads to making an important decision, but sometimes it's a way to make the pain linger and the anger grow.

I think a major lesson here is the depths Esau goes to strike back at Isaac- and to see how damaging a father's failure can be to his son. How different would all of these lives have been if Rebekah acted purely, if Isaac had made better choices, if they had been the parents to Esau that they were to Jacob. But instead, the damage they inflicted shaped a bitter, angry man- who marries for spite.