Deathbed Desires

Genesis 50:15-21

So Jacob's gone and Joseph's brothers assume that now it's time for Joseph to take revenge. This is reminiscent of Esau's plans to to get Jacob once Isaac was gone. So the brothers hatch a plan- we'll take Jospeh some "deathbed instructions." They create this tale of Jacob asking Joseph to forgive his brothers. Ever the rhetoricians, they even refer to themselves as "the servants of the God of your father." They throw themselves at Joseph's mercy declaring themselves his slaves.

They lay it on pretty thick and Joseph bites. Whether he believes them or not, he weeps at the news and tells them not to be afraid, he's not God- and what they intended as evil, God used for good. He then says that he will provide for their children.

A few observations:
1) The brothers are compelled to apologize but afraid to really do it. Even with misguided motives, they bear the burdens of their actions and are ready to submit to slavery to alleviate their guilt (or in this case to escape the potential repurcussions). I can relate to these feelings. It's easy to feel the need to unburden and want to come clean- but in the process minimize the actions and confess to part of the misdeed- or rhetorically hide the apology beneath another message- or maybe even say that dad hopes you'll forgive me. And the result is only temporary peace.

But beneath it all- there is the deep desire to wash the sin away- to truly believe that the pain is over and all is forgiven.

2) Joseph wants to forgive. I don't know if Joseph's mercy is sparked by the "request" from his father, or if he had already forgiven- but he is emotionally moved by the process. Maybe he's crying at the mention of his recently deceased dad, or maybe the load of bearing resentment has finally been lifted.

It's so easy to carry grudges- and it's so tiring to pour energy into hatred. Joseph, etiher here or earlier on lets it all go.

3) Joseph tells them that what they intended for harm, God used for good. And while it's often hard to see it into our own paths, the pattern is still there.

My sin helps me better empathize with others who struggle.
My sin helps me help others who sin.
My need for mercy helps me to be merciful.
Lies told about me encourage me to tell the truth about others.

We can't thwart God's plan. Whatever we do, good or evil, eventually works for good in the end. That doesn't remove the desire to please our loving God- but takes a lot of pressure off. With or without me- God will get it done.